1) What do i want to become in Life
2) What is my short term goals
3)What is my long term goals
4) How can i earn more money
There are my Life home work from now on... i shud have find the answers for all of them, i dunno where do i start and how.... i never think about those things, i was enjoy greaving bcoz the lost, until Jai asked me those questions, and i never think it would come out from Jai..
I never think much of life since i lost my lovely one, i just live along by the "river", i live bcoz God let me, i stop and idle...
But what Jai said this afternoon, they're right, hard but right...
I should move on and leave all behind.... it's hard Jai but im gonna try to do it and find all those 4 answers...
dedicated for Jaikumar "thank you...."
November 30, 2007
Weekend's Review
MONDAY
Got fever...bad one, so i had to banged the office... at noon i had a date with my friend to Bekasi, Skin Clinic.. Talked alot about anything, including you...!!
TUESDAY
Finaly back to work, alot of things to do, alot of papers, mail and messages. One of my friend ping me at Gtalk and he was really pisted coz i didn't tell him about my illness ~so sweet of you..but sorry~ I think i missed you that day but i didn't want to spoil this crush things...scared me to death... :-)
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday Slow Machine...one of my fave broadcast in the radio, they played easy listening song for the whole day...cool!! But my mind was bugging by your image... i didn't know what hapen with me..i think something has wrong...
THURSDAY
"How does one walk away from all of the memories, how do i not wants you here in my arms.. how can i not love you..."
FRIDAY
Weekend..TGIF! Has decided got to leave from all these feelings... it isn't right and imposible.... i have to move on with my life and carry on... i won't be noticed, and everything would be fine... i just got to go from this situation before it more deeper and worst... everyhting would be okay Vicky!
Got fever...bad one, so i had to banged the office... at noon i had a date with my friend to Bekasi, Skin Clinic.. Talked alot about anything, including you...!!
TUESDAY
Finaly back to work, alot of things to do, alot of papers, mail and messages. One of my friend ping me at Gtalk and he was really pisted coz i didn't tell him about my illness ~so sweet of you..but sorry~ I think i missed you that day but i didn't want to spoil this crush things...scared me to death... :-)
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday Slow Machine...one of my fave broadcast in the radio, they played easy listening song for the whole day...cool!! But my mind was bugging by your image... i didn't know what hapen with me..i think something has wrong...
THURSDAY
"How does one walk away from all of the memories, how do i not wants you here in my arms.. how can i not love you..."
FRIDAY
Weekend..TGIF! Has decided got to leave from all these feelings... it isn't right and imposible.... i have to move on with my life and carry on... i won't be noticed, and everything would be fine... i just got to go from this situation before it more deeper and worst... everyhting would be okay Vicky!
November 29, 2007
Being alone
Being alone isn't that bad, being alone isn't that terrible, being alone isn't that saddy... To me i prefer stay alone instead of i love sum1 with a doubt inside that questioned would he/she be the perfect one or the right one?
Or loving sum1 else just another wayout to make my heart forget the past and washed them up...we can't erase the memories, bad or gud... nothing we could do to remove the moment that ever hapen in our life, right? Then is it wise to let sum1 who loves you become your heart victim to run away from the past?
I don't know which one is better, let sum1 strange loving you and have the future together or let the times preparing your heart for love....
Sometime when the night comes and the dark cover my world, i could sence the loneliness, they like angels wings that wrap my heart with tears and silence...and when the agony of being alone has strucked my heart i just sat there and lifted up my heart into My Lord presence and soon He send His angels to companing me to thru the night....
Being alone... it's not that bad as you think of....
Or loving sum1 else just another wayout to make my heart forget the past and washed them up...we can't erase the memories, bad or gud... nothing we could do to remove the moment that ever hapen in our life, right? Then is it wise to let sum1 who loves you become your heart victim to run away from the past?
I don't know which one is better, let sum1 strange loving you and have the future together or let the times preparing your heart for love....
Sometime when the night comes and the dark cover my world, i could sence the loneliness, they like angels wings that wrap my heart with tears and silence...and when the agony of being alone has strucked my heart i just sat there and lifted up my heart into My Lord presence and soon He send His angels to companing me to thru the night....
Being alone... it's not that bad as you think of....
Love is friendship
Subject of my month "Is it impossible fall in love with someone that you hardly know about that person?", i don't believe in that but then i realise i do have experience with that, i have fallen in love with a guy that i only met once, well maybe not falling in love but it's kinda crush.... a big crush :-)
he never do the sweet talk, i could talk about anything with him...anything except his feeling, and he's so cold as an ice berg...that's it an ice berg... but he's such a gentleman, so wonderful as a friend... Alot of gals desperated tobe his gal but he's just stay calm and do nothing... don't ever let him smile, geee... with smile like that many hearts would be broken...
I didn't know what make me begining to like him (and developing into LOVE), i didn't know anything about him except the common information, his religion, his work..and that's all i know...nothing more...until now...
Everytime i talk with him, there's a magnet that shuck me up into his presence, and it's begining scared me badly...his silence, his style, his laugh, his voice,hiscold...avevrything in him turns me on...
But after i have many chats with him, i realise one thing that would not match between me and him, he could love someone that strange to him and i can't...
I also ask my other friend about this, and yes he's a guy, funny for him it's possible too having that spark of love to sum1 strange too,my gosh..men...~only God knows how~ but still for me being love with the strange only make your separated come sooner, how can we stand up into the ground that not strength enough to build sumthing on it, just like A house with sand as the basic between A house with rock as the basic...which one do you think is more strength, so is LOVE and friendship... Pyaar Dosti...Love is Friendship...
he never do the sweet talk, i could talk about anything with him...anything except his feeling, and he's so cold as an ice berg...that's it an ice berg... but he's such a gentleman, so wonderful as a friend... Alot of gals desperated tobe his gal but he's just stay calm and do nothing... don't ever let him smile, geee... with smile like that many hearts would be broken...
I didn't know what make me begining to like him (and developing into LOVE), i didn't know anything about him except the common information, his religion, his work..and that's all i know...nothing more...until now...
Everytime i talk with him, there's a magnet that shuck me up into his presence, and it's begining scared me badly...his silence, his style, his laugh, his voice,hiscold...avevrything in him turns me on...
But after i have many chats with him, i realise one thing that would not match between me and him, he could love someone that strange to him and i can't...
I also ask my other friend about this, and yes he's a guy, funny for him it's possible too having that spark of love to sum1 strange too,my gosh..men...~only God knows how~ but still for me being love with the strange only make your separated come sooner, how can we stand up into the ground that not strength enough to build sumthing on it, just like A house with sand as the basic between A house with rock as the basic...which one do you think is more strength, so is LOVE and friendship... Pyaar Dosti...Love is Friendship...
November 27, 2007
First Time
First time I saw you I couldn’t take my eyes of you,
First time I saw you was your big bright eyes,
First time I saw you there’s something filled my heart,
First time I saw you I couldn’t stop my heart from beating so hard,
First time I saw you I’d like to know all about that cute smile of yours,
First time I saw you no word came out from my mouth..only the silence…
First time I saw you you brought me into this strange feelings,
First time I saw you you filled my heart with your charmed
First time I saw you the only thing you left behind was memories about you..
First time I saw you was your big bright eyes,
First time I saw you there’s something filled my heart,
First time I saw you I couldn’t stop my heart from beating so hard,
First time I saw you I’d like to know all about that cute smile of yours,
First time I saw you no word came out from my mouth..only the silence…
First time I saw you you brought me into this strange feelings,
First time I saw you you filled my heart with your charmed
First time I saw you the only thing you left behind was memories about you..
Five things that tell about me
Yesterday I visited a friend’s blog and he gave me this idea to write down…
i)MOODY, this is the strongest charateristic you’re gonna find if you knew me.This has been with me since I was a kid…teenage tobe exact!Easily got changed out of the blue.A lot of my friends has complained about this bad habits of me.I don’t know how to get away of it, just follow of my heart sayin’ that time…
ii)STUBBORN, Taurus gal’s type ^o^ sumtimes I think my head is made from stone, I hardly listen what people advise me, I just follow my heart only. And if I wanna do sumthingor make a decision, I just do it!If there a lot of people didn’t agree so beat it,I just did it quietly..A lot of time I had to deal with my own concequences bcoz of this character.
iii)COMPLICATED, im kind a “plin plan” person, you know like this, when I decided about sumthing then in a sec I could change my decition just like that… My family and friends really…really hate this one character of mine, I hate it my self! Right now im trying to change that… I don’t understand why I have changed in the last minutes of my decision..
iv)CARRYING FRIEND, A lot of my friends have admit that. If I get closed with sum1, I could notice the little tiny of their changes, and I could notice my friend also only from the way their speak.. Sumtimes I could read my friend’s mind before they speak up. Im gud listener that what they said about me…
v)CLOSED PERSONALITY, yup…that’s me! I have a lot of best friends but only one person who know the real story about me.And we hardly meet each other, we just communicate from phone. But I do have a lot of friends to hang around with, we talk a lot of anything, hang out together, do all the close friends stuff do, but still there’s a close area part of me that I don’t talk about. Even we're so close doesn’t mean I could talk a lot about my heart and stuff in it, and I think this chcaracter doesn’t match with my title as a gud friend, does it? I thought so…
i)MOODY, this is the strongest charateristic you’re gonna find if you knew me.This has been with me since I was a kid…teenage tobe exact!Easily got changed out of the blue.A lot of my friends has complained about this bad habits of me.I don’t know how to get away of it, just follow of my heart sayin’ that time…
ii)STUBBORN, Taurus gal’s type ^o^ sumtimes I think my head is made from stone, I hardly listen what people advise me, I just follow my heart only. And if I wanna do sumthingor make a decision, I just do it!If there a lot of people didn’t agree so beat it,I just did it quietly..A lot of time I had to deal with my own concequences bcoz of this character.
iii)COMPLICATED, im kind a “plin plan” person, you know like this, when I decided about sumthing then in a sec I could change my decition just like that… My family and friends really…really hate this one character of mine, I hate it my self! Right now im trying to change that… I don’t understand why I have changed in the last minutes of my decision..
iv)CARRYING FRIEND, A lot of my friends have admit that. If I get closed with sum1, I could notice the little tiny of their changes, and I could notice my friend also only from the way their speak.. Sumtimes I could read my friend’s mind before they speak up. Im gud listener that what they said about me…
v)CLOSED PERSONALITY, yup…that’s me! I have a lot of best friends but only one person who know the real story about me.And we hardly meet each other, we just communicate from phone. But I do have a lot of friends to hang around with, we talk a lot of anything, hang out together, do all the close friends stuff do, but still there’s a close area part of me that I don’t talk about. Even we're so close doesn’t mean I could talk a lot about my heart and stuff in it, and I think this chcaracter doesn’t match with my title as a gud friend, does it? I thought so…
November 19, 2007
i'd like to
You may not care to me, and consider im not there..
But it won't change the way i feelings about you...
I sure you that one day all will happen that you would loving me and never let me go...
i'd like to be there for you, i'd like to love your lack, always willing to make you happy no matter what happen..i sure you im there...
You may keep a distance from me but i believe that you will loving me and never let me go...
i'd like to be there for you, i'd like to love your lack, i am who willing to get hurted for the past...
But it won't change the way i feelings about you...
I sure you that one day all will happen that you would loving me and never let me go...
i'd like to be there for you, i'd like to love your lack, always willing to make you happy no matter what happen..i sure you im there...
You may keep a distance from me but i believe that you will loving me and never let me go...
i'd like to be there for you, i'd like to love your lack, i am who willing to get hurted for the past...
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