When Love calling...

Apabila cinta memanggilmu ikutlah dengannya, walaupun jalan yang akan kalian lalui terjal dan berliku. Dan bila sayap-sayapnya datang merengkuhmu, pasrah serta menyerahlah, meskipun pedang yang tersembunyi di balik sayap itu akan melukaimu. Dan jika dia bicara kepadamu, percayalah, walau ucapannya akan membuyarkan mimpi-mimpinu, bagai angin utra yang memporak-porandakan taman. Sebagaimana ia memhkotaimu, cinta juga akan menyalibmu. Sebagaimana ia menumbuhkan kuncup dedaunanmu, maka ia juga memotong akar-akarmu.... Cinta tidak memiliki atau dimiliki, akrena cinta telah cukup untuk cinta
(Kahlil Gibran Sang Nabi)

Cinta... sesuatu yang kuat sama seperti Maut!
Kalimat diatas dan puisi Kahlil Gibran mengingatkan akan perjalanan romans yang pernah aku alami... melewati 8 tahun kebersamaan dan tiba-tiba dalam sekejap semuanya itu dihancurkan oleh dusta yang mengatas namakan cinta.. Harapan dan mimpi seperti terbang bersama duka kehilangan dan terhapus oleh airmata yang berjatuhan dalam melewati kesunyian malam... Namun Cinta tak pernah menghentikan sayapnya untuk terbang dan hinggap dalam setiap hati yang merindukannya!


When love beckons to you, follow him,Though his ways are hard and steep.And when his wings enfold you yield to him,Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.And when he speaks to you believe in him,Though his voice may shatter your dreamsas the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;For love is sufficient unto love.

My Prayer

Mazmur 139

Ya Tuhan! Engkau menyelidik serta mengetahui akan daku,
dan Engkau juga mengetahui akan dudukku dan akan bangkitku berdiri; dari jauh juga Engkau mengetahui akan segala kepikiranku.
Engkau memeriksa aku, kalau aku berjalan dan berbaring, segala jalanku Kaumaklumi.
Sebab sebelum lidahku mengeluarkan perkataan, sesungguhnya, semuanya telah Kauketahui, ya TUHAN.
Dari belakang dan dari depan Engkau mengurung aku, dan Engkau menaruh tangan-Mu ke atasku.
Terlalu ajaib bagiku pengetahuan itu, terlalu tinggi, tidak sanggup aku mencapainya.
Ke mana aku dapat pergi menjauhi roh-Mu, ke mana aku dapat lari dari hadapan-Mu?
Jika aku mendaki ke langit, Engkau di sana; jika aku menaruh tempat tidurku di dunia orang mati, di situ pun Engkau.
Jika aku terbang dengan sayap fajar, dan membuat kediaman di ujung laut,
juga di sana tangan-Mu akan menuntun aku, dan tangan kanan-Mu memegang aku.
Jika aku berkata: "Biarlah kegelapan saja melingkupi aku, dan terang sekelilingku menjadi malam,"
maka kegelapan pun tidak menggelapkan bagi-Mu, dan malam menjadi terang seperti siang; kegelapan sama seperti terang.
Sebab Engkaulah yang membentuk buah pinggangku, menenun aku dalam kandungan ibuku.
Aku bersyukur kepada-Mu oleh karena kejadianku dahsyat dan ajaib; ajaib apa yang Kaubuat, dan jiwaku benar-benar menyadarinya.
mata-Mu melihat selagi aku bakal anak, dan dalam kitab-Mu semuanya tertulis hari-hari yang akan dibentuk, sebelum ada satu pun dari padanya.
Dan bagiku, betapa sulitnya pikiran-Mu, ya Allah! Betapa besar jumlahnya!
Jika aku mau menghitungnya, itu lebih banyak dari pada pasir. Apabila aku berhenti, masih saja aku bersama-sama Engkau.
Selidikilah aku, ya Allah, dan kenallah hatiku, ujilah aku dan kenallah pikiran-pikiranku;
lihatlah, apakah jalanku serong, dan tuntunlah aku di jalan yang kekal!


(English Version)

Psalms 139

O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.
Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I Don't Wana Miss A Thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While youre far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you babyAnd I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And Im wondering what youre dreaming
Wondering if its me youre seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God were together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

I dont want to miss one smile
I dont want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time


Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
I dont want to miss a thing..

dedicated to my past love IVAN... love you always..

intermezzo

Sayap malam mulai merekah,mengembang dan mewarnai sekeliling duniaku dengan warna pekatnya... ku coba melihat keindahan dari kelamnya gulita malam, entah bagaimana caranya tapi ku ingin merasakan bagian itu...
Ku hela nafas panjang dan menikmati pekat sekeliling ku....
aku diam dan diam... ku hela nafas panjang ku kembali dan tiba-tiba ku rasakan hangat genggaman dari tangan Ilahi memeluk jiwaku... ku hela kembali nafas panjang ku... lagi dan lagi... dan lagi.... sungguh hangat pelukan Sang Khalik membungkus jiwa hampa ku
Perlahan ku buka kedua mata ku namun hanya pekat yang menjadi warna duniaku... ku pejam lagi kedua mata ku dan ku buka kembali, masih saja sama pekat itu terasa...
Tiba-tiba aku berkata pada jiwa hampa ku,"hai...jiwa apakah yg terjadi dan mengapa hanya pekat yg ku lihat dalam kelopak mata ku..?!" Jiwaku berkata perlahan itu bukanlah pekat malam yang engkau tatap, bukan pula pekat hitam yang membungkus pandang-mu, namun engkau berada dalam noktah hampa diri-mu, dalam hampa tiada apa yang dapat engkau tangkap..hanya kosong dan gelap... jadi, bangunlah! bangun dari tidur hampa-mu dan engkau akan melihat warna mentari sukacita dan bianglala jiwa-mu... bangun...bangun!"

Ku hela nafas panjang-ku... dan warna warni itu sedikit demi sedikit merubah warna pekat itu...lagi dan lagi dan lagi... dan lagi.....

Few Gud Men

Man #1 : knew him long time ago, handsome,hunk, have a nice smile,woman killer, in the beginning it was kinda cool around him but lately the best thing i could do to him is ignore him...yet i try to see the gud things of him, he still has that nice smile... and i think one is enough to describe his gud thing :D

Man#2 : knew him since i was a kid, has white skin than me (how ashamed!) my childhood friend, the next i knew when we grew up we become couple... and in the short times we broke up, we decided become friend more fun... the gud side of him, he's such a care person,less smiling but when he did that believe me he'll rock any girl's heart...hhhmmmm.... bad sirene for me ~as his gf~

Man #3 : i used to call him "soulmate" but not anymore....i did like this guy, i didn't know where it were all started but he did remind me of sum1 special, but all those feelings stoped when i foundout about him and my best friend... and i still could see those sparks between them, but this time i prefer to stay away from both of them especially him, no matter how much i like this guy but i don't need a nother jerk in my life... sorry pal! Gud side of him?hhmmm... well....ehhmmmmm, let me think, hhmmm let me think harder...

Man #4 : he is a silence guy, smart with computer and programs, cute real cute guy, tall, has a big beautiful eyes,sexy voice, but his heart is built from iceberg... so cold!!! Always helping with all his advices, mature and respect for any girl....Gud side of him? believe me or not we don't have anything in common, especially about friendship and love things, but i think that's what make us close :D Lately i hardly having communication with him, infact i don't know where he is now... sumwhere in this universe i believe ^o^