Questions For you

1. Sebenarnya kamu tau ndak kalau gw sayang sama kamu? Maksudnya can you feel what I feel? can you understand that?atau mungkin apa yg aku rasa itu ga lebih dari sebatas kerja saraf-saraf motoric yg dikendalikan oleh adrenalin atas apa yg gw lihat dan sentuh hingga menimbulkan rasa … hehehehe …????

2. I like you … a lot, i think it’s more than just like, I love you. But, I think if we loved someone we shouldn’t hurt the person,right? It’s not the right way to shown your love, and I hurted you a lot. I hurted you when I got jealous, I hurted you when I let my self questioning your sincere care and feeling, I hurted you when I said a lot of words that breaking your trust, I hurted you when I trusted my logic mind than my heart, I hurted you a lot in the name of LOVE, why do you still give me a chance?do you think I worth for that chance?

3. What had made you even like me? You have lots of ladies who like you also (i know they do) you could choose, and unlike me, they are better in showing how important you are to them, but me? I choose silence and away from you. 

4. Kamu tau ndak it's not an easy thing to fall in love with you, cos you are so perfect .... sangat perfect to me, even with all your advantages and lack, you are smart, friendly, caring person, cheers up, strong, tough, not an easy giving up person, kind, moody, work hard, closed person apalagi terkait hal pribadi, What did make you choose me to be with ... as ...hmmm TTM bole ga? :D padahal ada your 1st love and woman you had crush once, and i believe they like you also, they like your teasing, your charmed, your flattery, your warmth. Kalau gw? well i believe gw ga pernah masuk dalam kategori cewe yg elu suka and gw sadar itu koq, it's ok.

Lately

“he said he loved me…out of the blue he said that…just when I felt everything had ended between us…” didn’t know why all that bulls came out just like that… I made up to my best friend just because I was dying to hear he said that word to me directly…not from texted…well after all these terrible things happen between us, terrible things made by me to be exact...but i knew it won't happen...

I’m kinda miss him right now, but I should’ve known that he’s out of my league! There’s no way I could make him want me the way he used to be, thanks to my stupid moron jealousy. And I think he stops missing me and I kinda get used to it either. Funny, it won’t take too long to get use to your heart of the loss. Here I am, so afraid of loosing him, I beg, I talked a lot of mumbo jumbo self defense, I sold my self respect to a guy who doesn’t even want me to back, just because he tired of my jealousy and because of his feeling to other girl… beside I have no right to make him stay in my life or days I believe he has his own happiness there. I think it’s not that so hard for him proving that he’s not that into me. It’s okay I deserved that anyway…hurt but I deserved, I hurted him too much with my jealousy and assumptions, I even afraid of loving him again, will hurting him again….don’t wanna that happen.

I just thankfull that for a moment even for a while I could pretend that he is mine…. 

Missing you....

Bridge Over Trouble Water by Simon and Garfunkel

Intro: D D9 G A7 Fdim D G A7 D G D G

     D           G        D            C     G   D       G
When you're weary. Feeling small. When tears are in your eyes
       D           G  D G D
I will dry them all.
    A  Bm   A                        D     D D7
I'm on your side ohhhh when times get rough.
            D9   G     E  A
And friends just can't be found.
D7  D9 G      A7 Fdim D       Bsus4 B7  G      F#7    Bm
Like a bridge over    trouble   water, I will lay me down.
D7  D9 G      A7 Fdim D       Bsus4 B7  G      A7     D    G D G
Like a bridge over    trouble   water, I will lay me down.
D                        G                    D
When you're down and out.  When you're on the streets yeh.
        C  G    D         G        D            G   D   G  D
When an evening falls  so hard.  I will comfort you ohhhhh.
     A    Bm   A                        D    D/C# D7
I'll take your part ohhhh  when darkness comes.
         D9 G    E     A
And pain is all  around.
D7  D9 G      A7 Fdim D       Bsus4  Bm G      F#7    Bm
Like a bridge over    trouble   water, I will lay me down.
D7  D9 G      A7 Fdim D       Bm     G      Bm F#7 Bm
Like a bridge over    trouble water, I will lay me down.

E7 D G G1 Gm D G D G
        D           G         D    G
Sail on silver girl.  Sail on by.
     C    G   D        G
Your time has come  to shine.
         D                      G D G
All your dreams are on their way.
    A   Bm   A                       D             D/C# D7
See how they shine ohhhhh and if you need a friend.
       D9   G     E    A
I'm sailing right behind.
D7  D9 G      A7 Fdim D       Bm     G      Bm   F#7  Bm
Like a bridge over    trouble water, I will ease your mind.
D7  D9 G    Gmaj7 E7 D     Bm     G      F#7       Bm
Like a bridge over trouble water, I will ease your mind.

E9 E D G G1 Gm D

If you were with me now

Without you standing by my side
Love and good fortune passes me by
And you were my guiding light
It seemed so easy when we said goodbye

How different would the world be now
If only we had worked it out somehow
What kind of fools are you and I?
There would be stars up in the sky if you were with me now

And I know I may go astray
But who's to say that we can't change our mind, oh no no
My love burns stronger each day
If I'm sure of one thing

One love at a time how could we throw our love away
When we had so much more than words can say?
The darkest clouds would fade away
To bring the light into my day, if you were with me now

Read more: Kylie Minogue - If You Were With Me Now Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Dear heart

Dear my heart,
I did it again, hurting my beloved one with jealousy and stupid thing and to be honest i never know how to win his heart.
I don't know how to explain what i feel inside, i don't know how to tell him i love him without hurting him..
and now, i really scared to go near him or just to look at him, i'm affraid that it could hurt him even more ...
i miss him, being with him, love him ....
but will he still wants me like the first day we got closer?

Dear my heart,
i love him,
but how can i explain the feeling slowly getting soar and cold,
i just knew how huge the effect of a gossip to your life...
i wished i could say how sorry i was...but it's too late
there's no chance i could fix his broken heart

Dear my heart,
Please tell him i do love him so much more than i could take,
i want to touch him more than i want to breathe

Dear my heart,
i love him... yet i still have to let him go...
i need him more than i need air ... yet i need to wash away the feeling ...

Dear my heart,
please be fine ....

I TRY – Marcy Gray

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together babe
But we're not
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin'
[Chorus]
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm fiendin'
[Chorus]
Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy, I need your touch
Your love, kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
Deny
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
(but I'm dreaming of you babe)
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin'
[Chorus]

Dudy Oris "Ku Harus"

Terlanjur ku mencintaimu
Detik demi detik ku berkhayal kau kembali di pelukku
Tapi semua itu hanya mimpiku
Tuk hadirkan dirimu yang dulu bermesra

Sungguh ku tlah jatuh cinta dan terbelit kekacauan
Cinta yang berujung mesra meremukkan segala perasaan
Tak ku kira semua kenangan indah kan berakhir perih
Namun ku harus kuat menghadapinya, ku harus

Hampir saja ku mengakhiri tuk hentikan nadi
Ku lupakan segala yang menekan jiwa
Bersyukur Tuhan masih menolongku
Merasuk ke jantung hati, sadarkan diriku

Sungguh ku tlah jatuh cinta dan terbelit kekacauan
Cinta yang berujung mesra meremukkan segala perasaan
Tak ku kira semua kenangan indah kan berakhir perih
Namun ku harus kuat menghadapinya, ku harus

Sungguh ku tlah jatuh cinta dan terbelit kekacauan
Cinta yang berujung mesra meremukkan segala perasaan
Tak ku kira semua kenangan indah kan berakhir perih
Namun ku harus kuat menghadapinya, ku harus

Sungguh ku tlah jatuh cinta dan terbelit kekacauan
Cinta yang berujung mesra meremukkan segala perasaan
Tak ku kira semua kenangan indah kan berakhir perih
Namun ku harus kuat menghadapinya, ku harus

Apakah engkau pernah memikirkan ...

"Vick i love u meski hubungan ini terlarang. Hati kecil gw warning terus kl ini ga bole.Dan itu ga mudah" 26 Jan 2016 21:47

Ga tau harus nangis atau senang ya membaca kalimat itu. Banyak hal terjadi between us lately, berawal dari sebuah berita yang akhirnya bermuara kepada keraguan dan ketidak percayaan.
Apakah aku terlalu bersalah karena menyatakan apa yang aku rasakan? apakah harus adanya kehadiran sosok lain yang engkau sebut teman namun engkau perlakukan terlalu istimewa baru membuat engkau merasa  hubungan kita suatu ketidakadilan untuk aku?
Apakah dengan tidak mengatakan yang sejujurnya padaku menceritakan dan menyatakan arti keadilan untuk aku?

Aku memang tidak akan pernah layak ya untuk engkau sayangi..
aku tidak akan pernah pantas untuk mendapatkan cintamu..
aku hanya sebatas sosok yang engkau butuhkan saat sosok lain yang engkau inginkan belum dapat engkau raih..
aku hanya sebatas pengisi waktu luangmu dan membunuh rasa sepi mu...
Tidak apa ... mungkin memang hanya sebatas itu arti diriku untuk mu

Apakah engkau pernah memikirkan betapa rindunya aku akan kehadiranmu
apakah engkau pernah memikirkan penderitaan yang aku rasakan adalah saat merindukanmu..
apakah engkau pernah memikirkan sangat sulit menahan semua rasa yang aku coba hindari dari hadapanmu?
apakah engkau pernah memikirkan bukan engkau saja yang mencoba menyangkal semua perasaan yang ada?
apakah engkau pernah memikirkan betapa beratnya melewati setiap malam bahkan untuk memiliki bayangmu adalah hal yang terlarang...
apakah engkau pernah memikirkan betapa tidak mudahnya meyakinkan diri disaat keraguan itu sedikit demi sedikit mewujudkan kehadirannya adalah benar adanya..
apakah engkau pernah memikirkan betapa inginnya aku pergi jauh dari hadapmu hanya karena aku tidak ingin engkau melihat cinta itu di mataku....
apakah engkau pernah memikirkan betapa sulitnya meyakinkan diri apa yang terjadi hanya sebuah mimpi dan khayalan yang tidak berwujud...
apakah engkau pernah memikirkan betapa beratnya menyadari engkau bisa berbahagia tanpa adanya diriku...
apakah engkau pernah memikirkan betapa aku menyadari cinta yg ada dimatamu tidak akan pernah untuk ku...