Right now is the second day on 2008,future just like a mysterious dream in life...
On 2007 June i lost someone that so dearly and loved, on 2007 i also got someone so dearly and precious ~my niece,Vina~, on 2007 i cried a lot and in tears so many times, but also on 2007 i have known so many wonderful person that make me smile...
But still entering this year i have a little bit of wonder of what would happen in the days ahead. God said “Don't worry about tomorrow cos today has its own concern..”, human not allowed to be worry about the future cos it's God's plan, all we have to do just sit tight in God's presence and never far from HIM, but again still i have a lot of thought about this year, there's a lot of bad things to be forgotten and forgiven, a lot of gud things to be reminding and a lot of things that had happen in the past year as our guide to take other step in this life...
I have made few decisions entering this year, 1st take a distance and walk away, 2nd learn how to forgive, 3rd always remember the reason God created Eve for Adam...
Taking a distance from someone so dear in your heart not so easy,i don't know if it's the right thing i have taken but seems it's the only way right now to make everything clear again like before,need time to stay away from feeling's matter, day by day i just feel that person away from me i don't know what's wrong but i feel it's my fault...and my stupidity ^o^ we have nothing to be discuss or to talk about, and the worst i feel like a stranger now in front of this person... again my mistake that made of this person changes...
Forgive but not forget OR forget but not forgive?well not easy to answer...
if i couldn't give the forgiveness to someone does it mean i'm the bad person? Perhaps... i'm the bad person, it's not easy to forgive the situation that made you in this huge lost of your future, faith,joy,self confidence and hope... and what worse than betrayed?! But my faith teach me to forgive, you have to forgive first then you could forget.. and the first person that i can't forgive is my own self. I did a lot of stupid thing and mistakes, and i made a lot of dear people away from me bcoz of my “excelent” habits, i always use my emotional feelings a lot then my logic mind and it always make me end up in the bad situation, i don't know when and how to hold my self on something i like a lot and if the situation turns into bad i always blame it on my self...
Forgive my self for the stupid things i had made, forgive and forgive.....
In my bible it said that God think it's not good if Adam being alone, so HE created a person that is equal with him... and that's why EVE being created.. i think i have my answer about match or we've known as SOUL MATE... i always think about the right person that God has given as our match. How we could known if he/she the right one, how we could sure of him/her? I always falling in love for a wrong guy.. always, i don't know why and how but i think cupid always shoot the wrong direction and person for me ^o^ i never make a think if i love someone, i just feel it... and i always figure out the real skin of love... the answer is none....
