JANUARY
I started the Year with alot of prays and...feelings... a little hope that i would thru this year with happiness..
22 January was Elvina Ruth Wendelline Maulany day's birth, both mother and baby in gud shape...
FEBRUARY
The worst Valentine's Day ever... flood came to my grandma's house.. the worst one...
MARCH
Alot of B'day parties among family member... but what most greatful to The Lord was i stil could have my Mom beside me...
APRIL
Felt no breath... too much things hapens and i couldn't face them at once... but LIFE, it never thinks your strength, you just had to stood up there and faced all of them with the strength you've got!! Loosed my boss cos of her resignment, loosed faith in trust again, but thank God for one age He added...
MAY
Preparing of my single day without Mrs.Kartini, since June i would be alone in the secretariat section... Had alot fight wid sum1 i care so much... and feeling alone in this world,can't cry enough!
JUNE
The Real Lost of My Life.... cried, broke down, crashed,hurted, betrayed... Excelent!Yes, i cried all night long, "end of the world" seemed to be the perfect match for me that time... thank God i have my family, they helped me so hard to thru this agony... so i could faced the days ahead without asking God to take my soul...
JULY
Got into hospital cos couldn't breath at all, passout for 15 minutes, they thought they had lost me for gud... but i came back didn't i? My brain didn't get enough air and it made me passout and turn into blue... after that horrible experience at Emergency Room, when i opened my eyes i saw my cousin and said thank you to him, cos during my "other" place i only heard for his voice and it lead me to came back...
AUGUST
Tried to still stand on my feet, thank God i got all the works tobe done... no time for tears, no time to wiped, no time to suffer... works.. works.. works.. and i thought that one way to forget bad things... ^o^ and i tried to smile no matter how hard the situation was...alot of times i passed the days with the emptiness inside, i felt away from God, i felt He never took a side in me, i thought He didn't fair with me... Loosing my religion? Nope, i just asked HIM not let me go no matter how bad i was as HIS creation.. i asked God not to let me slip away from HIS Mighty Finger, cos i have nothing without HIM in my life...
In the midle of my sadness i saw you.. never thought you would filled my days ahead since that....
SEPTEMBER
Got nu friend, he's funny, always busy with his work ~i think..~,smart, have a heart of angel cos he always let me to bug him in the midle his busy day of work and yet no compliment from him..isn't that nice?,he's great guy, a gud friend,^o^ If you read this friend, "thank you for let me bug you, thank you for not make any compliment even my behaviour anoying you alot, so sorry for all the troubles and hard days i have given you lately, and i do use alot of my emotional side..what can i do i'm a writer :)... but promise you i would do the changes... and think logicaly and not so emotional about anything... Thank you for all the advise and consulting time you had given that day.. i do appriciated...Thank you..."
OCTOBER
Sometimes i felt i was a looser... but i decided to wash away all the negative thinking about my self or for what hapen, bad think hapen and also the gud thing... so be patience Vicky!
NOVEMBER
I miss my dad badly... i wished he'd been here beside me...
DECEMBER
X'Mas time has come... my past has come infront of me after i tried so hard to thru the day without him,now he stood there infront of me... without any feelings guilty... But this X'Mas i wana make a peaceful with my own self, during all the bad things and the day i lost my love one i only blame my self for what hapen... i wana make peaceful and forgiveness with my own self first... i don't know how and why but all i know i've got to find the peaceful for my self then i shud be able to forgive...
